Employees want to get better at what they do. They want to feel like their work matters, and they rely on their managers to tell them what’s going well and what could be improved. They crave the information needed to make them better at their jobs, but only a small amount (26%) feel they get useful feedback that makes their work better. (Source – Gallup)
Most people who manage others would like to be that person who provides quality feedback. However, the majority don’t.
Why is that?
People who supervise others feel like they have to be “in charge”. They fear that providing positive feedback or praise might make them look weak. So, they lean toward the negative, giving feedback only when something is going wrong.
Managers also worry about not being liked or having their people hate them. Even worse, they’re afraid to make someone else cry. So, they either hesitate or opt out of giving feedback completely.
But the most likely reason leads, supervisors, managers, senior leaders—really anyone in charge of others—give is lack of confidence. They worry about what will happen next—will they get angry, cry, quit? And they don’t know what to say or do.
· They never received training in giving feedback.
· They don’t have any experience receiving feedback themselves to draw upon.
And they don’t know what to say or do.
It’s a perfect double negative. They don’t know what to do, because they have no positive past experience to draw on and there is no training available to learn from. To that end, here’s how to start providing quality feedback.
To begin… focus on making connections.
We must establish a personal connection with each other. Connection before content. Without relatedness, no work can occur. – Peter Block
To have a quality working relationship, and to have people respond well when we ask something of them, we have to have established a relationship first. Establishing connection is essential. Without this connection, no meaningful work will occur. Sure, people will do their jobs—for a while. They have to be pretty self-motivated to do great work if they don’t like their boss.
You may have heard the term “quiet quitting”. This refers to employees putting in the minimum to just do what they’re paid for, and no more. Are any of the people on your team quiet quitters? (Are you?)
What leaders hope for is a team that is productive, happy, ready to meet challenges, and provide excellent service to customers. Without connection, it’s highly likely that won’t happen. Research shows that having one-on-one conversations, that focus on building relationships as well as on tasks, significantly enhances performance.
Let’s loop this back to feedback. The foundation of communication in any workplace should be the one-on-one conversation. In these conversations, relationships are formed, understanding is gained, and trust is built. They are the precursor to feedback conversations. Having this solid foundation will make delivering feedback easier. Why? Because this connection leads to feedback being received with an open mind and willing attitude. There is also greater understanding of what is needed—where gaps in skills and knowledge exist and how to fill them. Check out this article for suggestions on how you can carry out a quality one-on-one conversation and begin building that strong foundation.
A very important part of building connections is listening. Feedback conversations are about communication, and a key part of that is hearing and understanding what is being said. Most employees feel their bosses don’t listen to them. And, if they sense you’ve tuned them out, they may very well do the same to you. When providing feedback, you absolutely don’t want that to occur. So, ask good questions about what’s going on, listen to their responses. Based on that, offer your opinions and advice. Then listen to what they think of it. By listening well, you’ll learn what you need to know to help them develop new ways of working and fix what needs fixing.
Once you’ve gained a solid understanding of the current situation, you’ll be ready to offer advice. Be sure to outline how you’ll support them. Knowing their manager has their backs gives employees confidence to try new things and improve their skill sets. Make notes of what is needed and how it will be achieved and ask the employee for their agreement. They should be involved in this process and have a voice in how to achieve results.
Finally, set milestones, track progress, and check in to see how they’re doing. Following up on feedback given should be part of one-on-one conversations going forward. By following up, you have the opportunity to fine tune things if they go off track or offer a pat on the back when things are going well.
Don’t forget to celebrate goal achievement—yours and theirs. They listened to your feedback and worked hard to make positive changes. And you’ve learned a lot too! Both of you deserve to feel good about what you’ve accomplished.
Relationship and connectedness are the pre-condition for change. Every meeting, every process, every training program has to get people connected first. Otherwise, the content falls on deaf ears.
(Source: Peter Block)
If you’d like to help your management team develop these connections, reach out to us for training. Our courses help new and more experienced managers connect with, engage, and inspire their team members… and they can help them with one-on-one and feedback conversations.
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